Relationship
What does Polyamory mean?
More than one love bond at once, with the people knowing — love, not only hidden extra sex.
Definition
Polyamory insists on several loves at once, with consent. The agreement covers visible love, not only hidden extra sex.
Beside that arrangement sits the open relationship, which usually keeps a couple and authorises sex outside. ENM is the umbrella for the agreement; polyamory is the branch that gives partner status to more than one love.
Inside the word sit different ways of organising the network. In a hierarchical arrangement there is explicit priority among bonds. In parallel poly, the relationships almost never cross. Kitchen table is the style in which the network meets, sometimes at the table. Solo poly describes someone who does not centre life on a couple’s nest.
Jealousy still exists. Compersion names pleasure, when it shows up, in the other bond; a metamour is a partner’s partner.
Origin
The name joins Greek poly- and Latin amor. Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart wrote “poly-amorous,” hyphenated, in A Bouquet of Lovers, Green Egg no. 89, Beltane/May 1990 — an adjective, not yet the noun. The Kerista commune in 1970s San Francisco already said polyfidelity (Even Eve / Geo). Jennifer Wesp created the Usenet group alt.polyamory in May 1992; the OED points there for the first verified polyamory and added the word in 2006. Deborah Anapol reprinted Zell’s article in Love Without Limits (1992).
History
From a neopagan zine and mailing lists the word moved into the books (The Ethical Slut, Easton and Hardy, 1997) and the bio. Zell sent a definition to the OED around 1999. The labels (kitchen table, parallel, solo) came later, once the name was already in the air.
How it emerged
People who loved more than one needed a name for a visible agreement. Polyfidelity covered the closed commune; poly-amorous, in Green Egg, opened the adjective; the noun stuck on 1992 Usenet.
Usage examples
Polyamory without a conversation is a slogan.
A metamour is the person who loves the same person you love, without being your partner.
Translations
- pt poliamor
- en polyamory
- es poliamor
Synonyms
- polyamory
- ENM
- kitchen table