Relationship
What does Open relationship mean?
A couple (or main bond) that agrees sex outside, with rules — the “we” stays, sexual exclusivity does not.
Definition
An open relationship usually keeps a we and authorises encounters with other people. The rules — overnight, tell, don’t tell, veto — are the text. Without text, open becomes a euphemism for cheating.
People who use the word often also land on polyamory, which as a rule allows several romantic bonds, not only extra sex. ENM is the umbrella; this is the branch bios use most.
Origin
English speaks of open relationship and open marriage. In the 1960s anthropologists already said “open” marriage for choosing a spouse. Nena and George O’Neill published Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples in 1972 (M. Evans); it sat 40 weeks on the New York Times list. Chapter 16 (“Love Without Jealousy”) gave about 20 pages to sex with other people; the press glued that sense onto the name. Open relationship, in the 1970s, generalised the deal to people not married on paper.
History
From the bestseller and 1970s swinging the vocabulary moved onto apps. Polyamory got its own name in the 1990s (Green Egg, Usenet); open stayed the branch that privileges the couple and extra sex. Without an explicit agreement, the word names the risk that one person thinks something the other never agreed.
How it emerged
The couple needed a name for the deal: we are not sexually exclusive, and we agreed that. Cheating already covered the secret; swinging covered the party. Open marriage, in 1972, and open relationship after, named the agreement in between.
Usage examples
They opened the relationship with a rule of always telling.
An open relationship is not automatic polyamory.
Translations
- pt relação aberta
- en open relationship
- es relación abierta
Synonyms
- open couple
- negotiated non-exclusivity
- ENM